On Rollerblading with a 16-Year-Old

Stephen, 16-year-old
rollerblade phenom
Originally uploaded by TimsPottery.

Before one enters into any endeavor in which injury or death are possible, one should make an evaluation of the facts in order to determine the risks and predict likelihoods of the bad outcomes, weigh these against possible benefits of the endeavor, and make a well-considered decision.

This was the thought that entered my mind as I sat on the side of the bikepath with bruised butt and bruised ego, watching the wheels on my rollerblades spin to a stop. Stephen, my 16-year-old nephew was patiently waiting for me at the bottom of the hill. I limped a few more steps along the side of the path, then stepped back onto the asphalt and trusted my meager skating abilities and fate. As we continued we talked about a variety of topics and I constructed a list of factors I should have considered before going rollerblading with a 16-year-old. To wit:

Risks

As a 16-year-old, Stephen is fearless, still has cartilage in his joints, has excellent balance, good eyesight, and is flexible. In addition, he is on a rollerblade hockey team. His musculature is not yet fully developed. He doesn't know how to drive a stickshift.

As a 46-year-old (not quite 3 times his age), I have fear but lack sense. Most of my cartilage has petrified. My balance and eyesight are not what they once were. I am as flexible as a dry-rotted pine board. I rollerblade once in a while, and my musculature is primarily around my waist and padding my butt. I can drive a stickshift.

Bad Outcomes

Outcome 1

I will fall and break or mutilate some part of my body, Stephen will be unable to haul my carcass back to the car, and if he somehow manages to do so, will be unable to drive me to the hospital because we took my car, which is a stickshift.

Likelihood: High

Outcome 2

Stephen will fall and hurt himself. I will hurt my back carrying him back to the car, and barely be able to drive us both to the hospital.

Likelihood: As if he would ever fall when he is on skates.

Benefits of the endeavor

Are you kidding? I get to go rollerblading with my nephew!

So to make a long story short, the only times I fell were when I was stepping down a couple of hills in order to avoid skating out of control. I mildly twisted my knee on one of the falls. On the way home, we stopped off at a parking lot where I taught Stephen how to drive a stickshift. Needless to say, the positives far outweighed the negatives. And I can rest easier knowing that next time, need be, he can drive me to the hospital.